I don’t feel God.

I don’t feel God. Raise your hand if you’ve said that before. In the past few months, I’ve heard a couple of friends express themselves in this way, and it has made me wonder what caused it. Is God really far away from us? Can he really be felt near or far?

If we feel far away from God, that implies that at one point we felt close to him. The questions I am asking myself is what made us feel close to him to begin with, and how do we regain that feeling. Is it even in God’s character to make us feel that he is close by mere human emotion, or is his nearness demonstrated through other actions?

The first people that come to mind are Adam and Eve. No one since–in the history of mankind–has probably actually been as close to God as they were. God spoke to Adam as he commanded him to take care of the garden in Genesis 2:15. Later, when Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they heard the sound of the Lord and they hid among the trees (Gen. 3:8). I think it was at this moment they probably felt far away from God. So, could it be that when we willingly go against God’s will, we tend to hide from God, which may sometimes make us feel that he’s not near. And we can’t feel God anymore.

What you actually find in this passage of Genesis 3 is that God went looking for them. He asked why they hid from Him. God did not ask what they did wrong. Instead, He went looking for Adam and Eve because he wasn’t scared of their sin and shame. This shows me that God is personable and wants a close relationship with us. God wants to know where we are, and why we hide.

Even David felt far from God. David, a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14), called out to Him in the Psalms and asked why God hid from him. David cries out day and night, and states that God did not answer him. Then David does something interesting in Psalms 22:3-5. He remembers who God is and gives him praise. David acknowledges his smallness and God‘s greatness. He recounts, one by one, the times when God did show up in his life, and he is reminded of how faithful our Lord really is.

Hezikiah was another man who did much for the kingdom. Yet we can see in 2 Chronicles the testing of his heart. This is the second thing I learned about this feeling. First, like David it may just be a feeling that needs to be redirected by a renewing of our minds. Second, it may be that God wants to test our hearts (2 Chronicles 32:31). How we respond and acknowledge him through our actions says a lot about our faith in Him.

Other times, like in Jeremiah 11, God lets his people know that he will not listen to them. Scripture tells us that God in his holiness does not tolerate sin–much less from those who have heard the word of God and turned a deaf ear to it. This story in Jeremiah shows us that the Lord is a jealous god, and he will not share his glory with other false gods. How much more do we need to recognize this in our lives before we keep asking the same question?

So now, what’s really at stake? When we say we don’t feel God, could it be that our mind needs to be renewed to see He has been there all along? Is there an area in our lives that we need to surrender to His will? Or is God testing our hearts in obedience to Him? I encourage you to dig into it deeper, and seek wisdom in this season in scripture.