The Struggle is Real… and I don’t mean #gains after being faced with a stack of pancakes during Sunday brunch. We all know finding the right balance between the foodie life and a Miami fit body is a challenge. But the struggle I’m talking about is finding true and lasting relationships. Whether you’re looking for a bae, best friend, or just someone to meet up for coffee, Miami is that “big city” where you think you know, but you have no idea (yes, I just quoted Diary from MTV).
It’s a city where most people you meet are not from here. Well, no one is truly a Miami native, but some come close. I’ve grown up here and can probably name most of my closest friend’s siblings, grandma, and one or two pets. But meeting new people is a struggle, and finding a core group of friends where you can get support in this thing called life is equally challenging.
When you think about it, we can’t do it alone. We are not created to live life on our own, or even by our own strength, so one way or another we need to surround ourselves with the right people. Don’t just take it from me; the bible says that God looked at man (Adam in this case) and thought it was not good for him to be alone. So he made a helper who would be just right for him (Genesis 2:18). I believe this original design for partnership goes beyond just Adam finding his prom date. It was all part of God’s plan to create a community of people that would love and care for each other like He has done for us.
I love that because it means we are not alone. That verse is a reminder that God has created people and fit them specifically in your life for a reason. So why do so many of us continue to feel alone? Why do I still receive text messages from friends that can’t sleep because they’re feeling lonely? It could be that we’re going about it with the wrong person in mind. I’ll just say it—it’s not about you!
There’s one thing I’m learning (emphasis on the –ing) and it’s that when it comes to relationships—with friends or a significant other—it matters most who you chose. How can we know we are choosing right? The good news is that God’s word speaks to both! For this post, I’m focusing on the friend-ships. And the book of Proverbs is filled with wisdom on what makes a true friend that lasts the test of time. A great start—aside from an open casting—is to choose carefully.
“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” Proverbs 12:26
That one verse holds so much truth. Choose your friends carefully. Sometimes we spend more time selecting a picture to post on our newsfeed than we do picking out friends—friends that will influence our decisions, that will advise us in our daily living, and will convince us to do things sometimes that we know we shouldn’t. Here is one way to know we are getting it right:
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up as you are already doing.” 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Friends build each other up, but they also speak truth into your life. The last thing you need is someone that always agrees with you. Sometimes your ideas are not that great. I remember at one point in my life wanting to move out of my house just to prove a point. How would that have turned out if my best friend agreed and I actually went through with it? Thankfully my friends are smarter than I—and I’m still living happily at home.
It is still possible to find people we can call true friends, even in Miami where some have a “lifespan” of a year or two in the city. So the struggle doesn’t have to be that bad if you just have a little patience. Some common sense also goes a long way. Deep down we know what’s right and wrong. And maybe ask—is this seat taken?
5 thoughts on “This Seat is Not Taken”
Awesome. Look forward to the next post. Friends definitely need to be people that share our same moral and biblical beliefs and can encourage us and help us live out God’s plan and purpose for our lives
You’re right. It’s hard to make friends in Miami. That’s why I’m happy we met each other 🙂
Thank you, Paola! Great to have met you 🙂
Finding friends is an art, you know when you click. I am 49 years old and I still have trouble going anywhere alone. I mean, if I have to I will but not that I want to. I used to make friends easier when I was in my twenties but I think at that age we are not selective as we get older we know what we are looking for in relationships.
Very true! With time comes new wisdom. Thank you for your comment!